Tango of Sorrow
by Serria Spell23
Summary: L calls a longtime friend to help with the Kira case because she is in a slump. The action is harmless enough however she has harbored feelings for him. She knows he does not think of her the same but she can't help it. When L's plans begin to get life-threating all she can do is sit back and watch while trying to protect him. Hoping he stops being rational to see he loves her too.
1. Requesting a Confidante

**Hey, I decided to try something different thanks to a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. This is a _Death Note_ story. Ahead of time let me just say that sorry if L is OOC a little in this chapter. This was my attempt at pairing him with an OC hopefully it turns out okay. My OC, Lena Spenser worked with L previously to solve cases so they know each other pretty well. The story picks about a day or two before the 'Lind L. Taylor' plan because I wanted Lena to be there for that. Also, feel free to ofter suggestions for the story if you want I kind of know where it's going but i'm always open to ideas.**

 **Hope you enjoy and tell me what you think ~Serria Spell23. I don't anything but the plot and Lena.**

* * *

 **Ch.1-** _Requesting a Confidante_

I walked around my flat a deep-seeded frown on my face. My caseload had been stagnant as of late. They lacked vitality and intellectual stimulation. Sighing, I flopped onto the sofa crossing my legs. I glanced at the TV—the volume half-muted on the verge of white noise. News reports played ongoing coverage of the "Kira" attacks in Japan—no doubt inducing paranoia. Since they had no idea who the killer was presently smoking 'em out was the option the police were most likely to take.

The phone rang and I fully muted the TV to prevent disruption. Lifting it to my ear, I opened my mouth to speak, however, the person on the other line cut me off without missing beat. "Do you want to assist me in the investigation, I sense you're in a bit of a rut?"

"Ahh! How do you do that!? Anyway, is that even _allowed_?" I asked balancing the phone between my shoulder and my cheek as I sat on the arm of the couch. My foot tapped on the floor from habit needing to dispel the nervous energy.

I heard a small chuckle. "You don't need to be so overly cautious, dear. It is merely an offer…i'm unconventional anyway, don't worry."

Attempting to choke down a retort that would earn subtle teasing later from the man I was conversing with, I put a hand over my mouth. A few moments passed in silence before I decided I'd risk it. "Better overly cautious than _overly confident_ I admire your ambition but that's your greatest fault…"

"To what do you refer, dear?"

The detective seemed genuinely confused by me saying his pride and recklessness was a fault. But he could not be reasoned with the majority of the time.

I sighed. "Never mind, be careful, L." I had avoided mumbling his most common alias for the entire conversation because that was a line of familiarity I did not want to cross if I was to be 'his partner' of sorts while working on the Kira case—remaining emotionally detached or least attempting to was the only hope for both of us.

A stilted, awkward pause came between us until he broke it. "Um…when can I expect you? I made travel arrangements for your convenience."

Flushing from the sudden irritation L's brazen remark had caused, I rolled my cerulean eyes, running my fingers through my— still damp mousy brown hair— from my shower ten minutes ago and twisted my lip. "You just _assume_ I'm coming…I rest my case your trademark cockiness will be your downfall," I retorted.

"If you say so, dear. However, I do know that your resolve is wearing thin despite your initial refusal. You're intrigued."

Shaking my head, I shrugged weakly. "I suppose I have no choice, do I? Can you at least tell me when my flight's leaving so I know if I need to dash out the door?"

My friend laughed again. "You needn't worry I booked it for tomorrow afternoon three p.m. your time."

A gentle smile graced my lips and the stress I'd felt a moment ago ebbed away slightly. "Thank you."

L offered me an unseen nod. "Of course. Now, I've kept you long enough get some sleep before tomorrow. Goodnight."

I sensed the detective maybe wanted to say my name in farewell, however, he was aware of the risks since I did not use an alias—at least not currently that fact would soon change.

"You too," I replied, "be careful."

* * *

Hanging up the phone, I strode into my bedroom to find my pajamas and change out of the bathrobe I'd worn for damn near a half-hour. I stripped off the garment, reaching for my nightgown sitting next to me on the bed. Slipping it over my head, I combed my fingers through my hair and climbed under the blankets. On my nightstand sat a candid photograph of L and me during one of the rare occurrences he let himself smile. Our paths hadn't crossed for about five years but I always managed to keep a non-invasive eye on him.

I had to wonder why did he call me the other members of the taskforce were probably more valuable. Did he think me an asset to the case, did he just want to push my buttons, and does he have an interest in breaking my case slump or…"

 _You're reading_ _ **way**_ _too much into this_ , I chided myself, _maybe he just wants a familiar face around to ease the awkwardness he feels and sometimes causes._

* * *

I grinned, shaking my head softly. After a minute, I realized I'd forgotten to shut the TV off. Grumbling angrily under my breath, I walked to the living room and pressed the power button.

Settling my body back under the covers of the bed, I turned off the lamp beside me, wondering if I would ever be able to get to sleep. My mind usually exhausted a few hours max trying to shut down. I wasn't classified as a chronic insomniac by any means but when I had something occupying my thoughts I had to think things through. The venture I'd agreed to would do its damnedest to test my emotional strength.

Then again he's L and he'd always done that. I could appreciate the challenge that was coming. However, in all honestly I did not know if I was ready for the case or its aftereffects.

My eyes drifted closed and I craved nothing more than sleep.


	2. Two Ls

**Hey, here's chapter 2. I don't anything just Lena and the plot. She has an olive skin tone or somewhere around there, I thought it would be a nice yin/yang thing since L is so pale. She is from England originally hence why she used to work with L. I must admit I genuinely surprised at the amount of support I received on the first chapter. Thank you and R and R and tell me how it is. This chapter mostly fluffy so I hope you enjoy it. ~Serria Spell23.**

* * *

 **Ch.2-** _Two Ls_

Flying had its perks but only if I wasn't disturbed, which unfortunately was an annoying habit of people on flights. I must admit that I sometimes envied L's connections he put me in first class with a snap of his fingers not that I minded but I certainly didn't require the extra luxury. Grabbing my laptop from the bag laying on the seat next to me, I searched for articles mentioning Kira and the investigation so far to make the approximate six hours before landing in Japan pass more quickly.

I glanced down at the little cake I'd abandoned on the corner of the tray table, I inwardly chuckled. Closing the dessert box's lid, I made a mental note to offer it to L as an 'it's good to see you again' gift. I tended to avoid sweets while flying since I experienced a twinge of motion sickness and my sweet tooth was rather picky. Deciding to forgo research until my fresh, pulsing headache subsided, I shut the laptop, moving it to the side. I rested my head against the headrest and closed my eyes my thoughts drifting to my old friend whom I'd be reunited with soon.

* * *

Elsewhere, the taskforce headquarters was abuzz with activity. Theories rocketed around the room like bullets. People bounced ideas off each other L chipping in his two cents occasionally. He cleared his throat and his co-workers fell hushed. "I'm sorry to interrupt your productive brainstorming session but I have an announcement to disclose," the detective said his voice measured and controlled.

"What is it, Ryuzaki?" Chief Yagami stood a few feet away from L's go-to chair, his expression wary.

"It's nothing underhanded…I just wish you to be prepared someone new will be joining the team."

Several voices chorused at the same time, making the noise level within the room almost unbearable.

"Who?"

"Why?"

"Why didn't you run this by me first?"

L raised his eyebrow. Did I _have_ to Chief? It was a split-second decision," he deadpanned as he stabbed his fork into his latest dessert. "She's a good friend of mine it wouldn't hurt to employ two world-class detectives for the Kira case."

"She's on par with your skills?"

L nodded, picking the cherry from the top of the cake and sticking it in his mouth, using his tongue to tie the stem into a knot. He gazed at it briefly placing it on his armrest. "The only thing that separates us most is our methods…I am impulsive and 'overly confident' as she likes to constantly remind me. Whereas she is caution to the point of passivity…unless she gets fired up.

Yagami pushed his glasses onto his nose. "So you're hoping bringing Kira to justice will restore her passion?"

"Yes."

"Well, I hope your plan works, Ryuzaki. You must have known her quite a while to drop everything and stick your neck out for her."

The detective scoffed, keeping his eyes trained on the monitors in front of him. "I am _not_ dropping everything. It would wise for you not to jump to conclusions. We parted five years ago this will be the first time meeting in person prior to saying goodbye…"

"How do you feel about working alongside her again?"

L furrowed his brow touching his thumb to his lip. "It's business, Mr. Yagami…she's my former partner and I am attempting to help her regain her confidence. Excuse me, her plane is landing soon and she wasn't made privy to the location of headquarters. As a convenience to her and a security detail, I'm driving to the airport to pick her up."

"Okay. See you both when you return."

He nodded and vanished from the room as the chief just shook his head.

* * *

Back on the plane, I opened my eyes, I realized I'd partaken in a six-hour nap and I was touching down. Stifling a yawn, I took my stuff, hoisting my laptop bag onto my shoulder so I would be able to stretch onto my tiptoes to reach the luggage rack to retrieve the small suitcase I'd brought. I tucked L's cake into the front pocket, praying it wouldn't get squished. Weaving through the crowded aisles, I narrowly avoided the rush of passengers practically falling into the terminal lobby. I sighed dragging my body over to one of the chairs a few away and sinking into it. Placing my chin in palm, I stared off into the distance, my eyelids drooping.

I jolted from my doze, my gaze catching sight of a person I'd know anywhere. A trance within the realm of giddy childhood ensnared me, I bowled into L nearly knocking us both to the floor. "L! I missed you!"

My friend struggled to give me a one-armed hug since my abrupt impact left him breathless and unsteady on his feet. "Knocking me over, knocking me over! Easy, dear."

Blushing, I pulled away, embarrassment coloring my entire face. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I'm just happy to see you."

"Likewise, Lena. Shall we go?"

"Yes, however, I'm afraid that I won't be much help to you tonight…I'm dead tired, although, I took a nap."

L put his arm around my shoulder allowing me to sag into him a little as we walked. "That's the jet lag, keep going I won't let you fall the limo's just outside." Unless my sleep-addled senses were wrong I swore the undertone of laughter lingered in the statement but I was probably hearing things. On the phone was one thing face-to-face was another matter. He was too serious. I cast a sideways look around the airport. People stared at us seeming all- _too_ -interested in us as if scrutinizing our intentions and closeness.

I groaned, burying my face in L's shoulder for a fleeting moment. "I _hate_ people. They're trying to deduct everything about our current situation."

"Don't worry once we exit these doors and enter the limo it will just be the two of us and Watari. He might ask questions here and there but he won't pester."

"Thank God. I really don't want to be bombarded with questions right now," I said straight-faced, "the responses I'd provide would hardly function as coherent."

* * *

My friend smiled a thin smile in spite of himself as we walked through the sliding doors to the waiting car. Even when I happened to be sleep-deprived due to time zone changes my wit did not suffer. It remained intact intelligent and on point.

Watari stepped from the limo. "Sir, did you tire her already?"

"No, Watari, it's the jet lag. Do you mind getting her suitcase?"

"Of course." He grabbed my luggage and laid it on the front passage seat while L and I sat in the back. I blinked rapidly to restore even a smidge of my stamina.

"So…any theories on Kira so far?" I prodded. "I know you sent for me so you'd have a sounding board…someone who actually believes your ideas have weight…farfetched as they are."

"Um…damn you caught me!" L replied.

I smirked playfully, rolling my eyes. "See, I still remember how you think…now, let's hear 'em."

"The killings have been almost constant except for the days when they cease completely. Either the killer is extremely cocky or they know they're pushing too far…"

"Or it's a dangerous combination of both. The killings occurred in the Kanto region, right?"

L sighed. "That's the epicenter, yes. Personally, I think whoever is responsible is a student…they have the time and people turn a blind eye."

"It makes sense I can see why the task force thinks you're crazy though. You based all that on intuition without hard facts."

"I'm an invaluable part of the team they'd be nowhere without me."

Shaking my head, my drowsiness began creeping up on me again as it fell naturally on L's shoulder. "You must get proof before they will believe you," I yawned, my eyes closing.

"We will, Lena."

Watari glanced into his mirror at us, slightly confused. "You did that when you two were partners?"

"Did I act as a human pillow? Mhm, it never bothered us."

After napping for ten minutes, L shook me gently. "Wake up, dear, we're here."

My gaze focused then I realized what I had done. I blushed for the second time today. "I used you as a makeshift pillow, didn't I? I'm _sorry_!"

"We've done it before you needn't be flustered."

"I know. Shall we go inside?"

"Yes."

* * *

Chief Yagami opened the door stepping back to let L, Watari—carrying my belongings— and I pass. He looked at me as I stood my hand gripping the back of my friend's chair where had just sat down, knees pulled to his chest.

L cleared his throat. "Everyone may I introduce, Lena, my former partner who will be assisting us in the case."

Matsuda had been quietly observing because his colleagues tended to dismiss his opinions, however, after noticing what in his thoughts was a funny irony, he piped up, "Two Ls?! Won't that be confusing?"

L glared at the childlike member who was a thorn in his side. "Not once she has her alias. Think, Matsuda, think!"

In an effort to defuse the tension, I clutched my uneaten cake and tapped the man's shoulder. His eyes lit up. "Here, I figured you would want this."

"Thank you."

But don't scarf it…you'll be riding a sugar high all night. I'm going to turn in I'm bushed." Bending closer to L's face, I pecked his cheek. "Goodnight, L."

The detective's mouth pulled up at the corners. " _I_ won't be doing much sleeping…all the same, goodnight, dear."


	3. Instinctive Worry

**Hey, here's chapter three. I was going to include the dinner at the Yagami household and Lena's antagonistic banter with Light in this chapter but there's already enough drama and a big bombshell in it. So now you have something to look forward to in chapter four. Oh and Lena's alias, Nanami actually means "beauty or "beautiful depending on how you arrange the characters. So if you think about it L is actually calling her beautiful in a subtle way since he can't say it directly. And yes the quote is from _Hamilton_ I thought it fit. Hope you enjoy R and R please and tell me what you think. I don't own I only own the plot and Lena. **

* * *

**Ch.3** - _Instinctive Worry_

" _But Alexander, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face I have never been the same intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame and when you said "Hi," I forgot my dang name. Set my heart aflame, ev'ry part aflame._ "

 _Satisfied_ , Hamilton

"Lena knows your full name, Ryuzaki?!"

Standing the doorway to the sitting area from the bedroom I'd slept in last night, I slapped my palm against my forehead. This morning was starting out worse than I expected.

Walking my slipper-clad feet over to L's customary chair, I hissed into his ear. "You can't keep your mouth shut, can you?! You told me your name in confidence. Damn it, L!" He winced, feeling my scowl metaphorically cut him he'd forgotten how intense my eyes became when I yelled at him.

"I didn't tell them, nor did I break your trust, dear. They only know that you know…blame Matsuda he's the one that blurted it out and awakened you." L glared pointedly toward the inexperienced agent semi-cowering against the wall. Matsuda dipped his head, attempting to hide.

I left my place by L and patted my co-worker's shoulder comfortingly. "I'm not mad at you…just pissed off at L that he let one of our personal secrets slip…and it jeopardizes the livelihood of the case."

"Do you know his name?"

I laughed, smirking in the detective's direction. "Of course he told me but he hates it so I refuse to call him by it. I might make an exception if a plan of his goes awry as a form of 'I told you so.' What do you have up your sleeve anyway?"

At the question concentrated towards him, L met my eyes. "To test my hypothesis, we need to scare them smoke 'em out as you say, however, we have to wait until the Sakura TV broadcast tonight…"

My eyes widened slightly, nervousness tumbling through my routinely composed voice. "That…didn't answer my question. L…"

Beckoning me over again, he brushed my arm—clad in my bathrobe and nightgown since it was still early—anxiously as a meager means of security. "A decoy—a convict scheduled to be executed one that if we're lucky it will entice Kira to act— will be used nothing will actually be me and I'll use the voice changer too. Besides we need to know if both a name and face are required. You're _aware_ of this, dear. I'll be fine."

I did not know whether hug my friend for coming up with a brilliant plan or wring his neck for disregarding his safety. True, I knew, however, it continued to nag at me. Hurt seemed a more fitting description; the angst I felt was only contained to my mind I could never vocalize it. I festered internally a moment before L evoked my attention. "Lena, you okay?"

"Uh…y-yes," I stuttered, pushing my bed messed hair out of my face.

 _Don't let him see._

Despite the synthetic relief coursing through my veins because L hadn't been attentive enough—ironically— to pinpoint the exact _reason_ I was distressed, I shrugged. My protective tendencies for him sprang out of wish fulfillment and the raw ache that I couldn't under any circumstances bear to lose him. My attraction for him was utterly unreciprocated, however, no matter how much pain I absorbed I would not allow L to be hurt.

* * *

Chief Yagami eyed me as I barely managed to evade the other probing looks from across the room. Matsuda timidly raised his hand and spoke up. "Are we able to call you Miss L while you decide on an alias?"

My friend and I shared a gaze that seemed to say 'Oh great they're already linking us together as a married couple.' Nudging L in the arm, my expression morphed into something ambiguous between a well-meaning, tight-lipped grin and a grim frown.

"Fine. It's only a placeholder…what's the harm?!" Inadvertent scorn leaked from the reply. I had not meant to snap but something about the innocent suggestion torn at my heart. Perhaps, it was the fading promise of 'what-might-have-been' gnawing at me.

Feeling L's gentle caress on my hand, I glanced downward, squeezed back and felt a silent sob rack my body. He whispered, his tone rich and soothing, the content audible to me alone. "Dear, if you keep worrying about every little detail of _my_ plan you'll give yourself an ulcer…don't you trust me…how many cases did we solve together?"

"I do," I insisted, "it's different this time. The stakes are higher…"

"How so?"

I. Wanted. To. Smack. Him. He failed to grasp his death was a real probable possibility. And it was a fate that I could not protect him from nor prevent eternally.

"Your name. If the killer eventually targets you he'll want it. Then I'll become a pawn and a liability to your safety. I…I can't hurt you like that, L!"

"You're overthinking this, dear. Here, calm down. Let's take it slow why don't we pick _your_ alias."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his wiry frame and perching on the arm of his chair. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me…you know what you're doing but worrying about you is an instinct."

"One you can rescind anytime. How do you feel about Nanami?"

I smiled. "Perfect…Matsuda will refer to me as 'Miss L' to poke fun at us anyway."

"So will I" the Chief chimed, "it is too entertaining to resist."

L rolled his eyes the situation infuriating the hell out of him. " _Don't_ , Mr. Yagami, you'll only encourage him…along with this _damned_ dynamic! And according to semantics, the correct terminology should be 'Mrs' not 'Miss.' I digress, we should be focusing on the capture of Kira not imaginative, non-existent interpersonal relations!" The words smacked me across the face painfully as if I needed a reminder that I incessantly chased a fantasy. Detangling myself from the detective's embrace in a rushed fashion, I stood with my back to him before I strode into the bedroom.

"I'm going to get dressed," I mumbled, waving a dismissive hand, my voice chipped. "Please resume your conversation…"

I saw a nod from the corner of my eye, my heart sank at the half-hearted response. Forcing affection would bring nothing but pain and I knew full well that I should let L go. His presence made the truth harder to act upon. Touching him, seeing him alive nearly chased away the fear I experienced as a result of his brilliance I feared for him since he did not possess the sense to do it himself.

"Sir, shouldn't you check on her?" said Watari. "She seemed upset."

"I have more important things to worry about right now. She will be fine in a matter of hours…probably just too blunt or maybe said something wrong I've never been an expert with people."

"I concur, however, are you sure she'll talk to you after a while?"

L grinned, running a hand through his dark hair. "Yes, she's unable to stay mad at me."

* * *

The time for the news broadcast arrived emerging from my room, I felt my throat tighten. L, sensing me behind him, rose and hugged me tenderly. Resting my head on his chest, I started to speak. "L…"

"I'm surprised you did not bite my head off earlier, Nanami," he tested my alias, a tiny teasing smirk on his lips. Changing the subject, my friend let me go, pressing his forehead to mine. "While I lay the trap why don't you accompany Chief Yagami to his house for dinner it's better if you're not here during this."

I raised an eyebrow. "Do I break your concentration, detective?"

"N-no," he spluttered, "I just work more cohesively when no one's around."

"Okay, I'll let you have that one."

The Chief walked up beside me and put an arm around me. "Ready, Lena or should I say, Nanami?" He winked toward L, subtly concealing a laugh for the younger man's benefit.

"Uh…yeah…thanks for doing this by the way."

"No problem. Any last words to Ryuzaki before we go?"

Resuming my position at L's side, I hugged him for a moment and mumbled 'good luck, be careful' into his ear.

"You too, dear. Write down anything you find suspicious."

I nodded. "I know the drill, I said, removing a notebook from my jacket. L stroked my cheek, turning to the monitors.

We left and I focused on preparing myself for the awkward situation that was no doubt about to occur.


	4. Dinner at the Yagamis'

**Hey, here's chapter 4. It didn't quite like a planned but hopefully, you still enjoy. Lena goes to the Yagami's for dinner but begins to argue with Light and he hits a nerve. She kind of feels uncomfortable because Light is acting off and she picks up on it. Also, sorry if Light's OOC a little. I'd recommend listening to "The Heart Asks Pleasure First" from _The Piano_ soundtrack for the Lena & L scenes really set the mood. Lena is twenty-six for future reference. Sorry, the slight cliffhanger at the end I wanted to get this up. I don't own only the plot and Lena. R and R and tell me what think, thanks for reading. ~Serria Spell23**

* * *

 **Ch.4-** _Dinner at the Yagamis'_

In the police cruiser, I shifted uncomfortably trying to avoid Chief Yagami's gaze. He undoubtedly burned to delve into my shadowy past with L, however, I couldn't think about him when my mind had to be clear.

My boss drove the streets, dusk falling, wrapping the car and our chosen route within the limitations of melancholy and tragedy. I sighed. Rain began pouring and I observed the streaks on the window, my eyes glassy and clouded; the person I was attempting to block from my thoughts, vying for my attention—in a fierce tango of logic, impulsiveness, passionate charisma and, of course, pain in the ass arrogance.

I _hated_ L so much in some instances and yet…I…cared about him.

"You and Ryuzaki…you two have history," Chief Yagami stated matter-of-factly.

"There's not much to tell. We were partnered together…onlookers may have said I developed a crush…"

"The attraction was and is deeper than superficial, wasn't it, Nanami?"

I nodded. "Yes, but I'm sure you and rest of the team have put two and two together by now. I care about him fervently but if I enlightened him it would only give Kira a pressure point to exploit. I was always awestruck by him his methods scared me but they constantly mesmerized me."

"Don't they still?" my boss teased as he turned into the driveway of his house. I blushed, shielding the evidence from his deductive expression.

"Yes although the argument is moot…I've explained why I can't tell him."

Chief Yagami shook his head, frustration clear within his features. Unbuckling himself, he let out a sigh, stepping around the cruiser to open my door. He paused, glancing at me and finding the words that had frozen on his lips. "Ryuzaki deserves to know, damn the risks!"

I bowed my head ashamed. I knew he was right. However, the chain reaction would prove tragic. L's happiness and well-being held top priority he was focused on catching Kira and wouldn't rest until he tasted justice. He had no time for sentimental declarations. I just had to get my head out of the clouds this was not the time to be selfish.

"I know…" I muttered, brushing passed Chief Yagami. "Sadly, it's never that cut and dry."

* * *

Tears welled in my eyes as my hand grasped the door handle. I blinked them away and walked into the house. His wife stood at the kitchen counter fixing dinner. The two other members of the family his daughter and son were nowhere in the vicinity the most probable answer to their whereabouts was homework.

Mrs. Yagami set down the knife and embraced her husband, kissing his cheek. "Dinner's nearly ready, I see we are joined by a guest this evening."

"Yes, Sachiko, she's assisting with the case her name is Nanami."

She extended her hand, I shook it. "Pleased to meet you," I said.

"Likewise, dear. Why don't you make yourself at home dinner will be served shortly."

Leaving my shoes by the door, I took a place at the table. His daughter entered the room bouncing over to her father.

"Hi, Dad."

The chief smiled. "Dinner will be done in a few minutes, Sayu."

The girl nodded and sat the table. Dishes, appearing the wooden surface, assumed the atmospheric white noise of clattering against the table, signaling the meal was moments from now. My mouth frowned as I caressed the slender black, glossy pen clutched in my right hand with my thumb. My case journal laid in my lap—though I was not doing anything productive right now my ears stayed opened in case —but since there seemed to be a lull in activity on account of dinner being on the horizon—I kept my hands nimble by drawing sketches on an empty page.

At least they weren't idle. I smirked thinking of the old adage.

My peace shattered as Mrs. Yagami yelled for her son to come downstairs. "Light, dinner!"

"I'll be there momentarily…"

* * *

The smirk disappeared from my expression. An undeniable wave of discomfort hit me—the boy about seventeen in age descended the stairs—the way he carried himself seemed off kilter for the briefest of seconds. His complexion was paler than one would anticipate if someone merely was anti-social and holed up in their room to escape human contact. He was shaken to the core. And I had a hunch why… A silence grew among the people at the table—a prickling, gut, hatred for the man now seated across from me already causing my skin to crawl—only amplified when he opened his mouth.

"How's the case, Dad?" he asked, his voice callous and semi-condescending underneath the layer of masterful guile.

"We have theories but as far as anything damning we are out of luck. It's a slow process, Light. Oh, this is Nanami she is an associate called in to help."

I fixed my eyes on my journal, bit my lip, and _tried_ for the love of God not to interact, however, my horrid vice of civility would win eventually. My pen flew a mile a minute, scratching, crossing out and adding to the list of bullet points on the paper— _anything_ not to lock eyes with him.

"Hello Nanami, look at me, dear. It's only polite."

I tensed, hearing Light refer to me nonchalantly by L's term of endearment. I'd say he stole it or claimed it but he could do neither. L had no claim to a simple word, albeit, a word probably uttered with affection. Nevertheless… Light dipped his head to trail my avoidant gaze. Holding my eyes using a well-executed smirk, he gave a noticeable 'ahem.' With one last stroke of my writing instrument, I cagily answered.

"Yes?"

"You're alone in the world, aren't you," Light commented brusquely.

I rolled my eyes, focusing on my food to alleviate the anger I felt. "And you're a stuck up honor student who _always_ gets a free pass if you do something wrong, your point?!"

"Easy sweetheart, I haven't done anything."

"Not yet...and _don't_ call me sweetheart I'm older than you!"

"An invalid reason to adjust my practices perhaps if I held you in any esteem," Light sneered, so I could only hear.

The desire to yank my hair out in large clumps became more tantalizing as the cat-and-mouse style conversation wore on. I scarcely ate my dinner, on the one hand, it bothered me while on the other—I'd lost my appetite, dreading I would puke if I continued. "You son of a…"

"You are the one who's being cryptic not me…is it a crime for a police chief's son to be curious and want to be involved?"

"If your intention is innocent, no. Excuse me, I don't feel so good."

"You're alone in this world, don't worry you have nothing to lose," Light said revoltingly sweet and I knew he was trying to get inside my head.

The Chief rose from the table, following me outside. I slouched against the cruiser, attempting to get a grip on the nausea. He touched my shoulder patting it gently. "Too much stimulation? Are you all right? Do you want to return to headquarters? The broadcast is done I have no idea what Ryuzaki's doing but you are more at ease around him than you are here."

Nodding, I wiped my mouth, stood and opened the car door. "I'm sorry I screwed up dinner, Chief…and he's eating his twelfth sweet within the hour I bet.

"Don't apologize there's no need. I'll drive you to headquarters then come back." My boss choked on a laugh. "Really?!"

"I've seen it happen, trust me."

* * *

After ten minutes fifteen max, we arrived at headquarters. I sprinted into the suite adrenaline carrying me the distance my body couldn't. My boss grinned, looking over his shoulder and shutting the door as he left the room. L tore his eyes from the cupcake in front of him.

"I feel disgusting my skin's crawling!" I blurted.

"What's wrong, dear?"

Light Yagami that's what's wrong! He is the most egotistical, cocky, arrogant son of a bitch! You and he would get along fine. I need a shower. A _cold_ shower."

L glanced at me sideways, pretending not to enjoy my frustration with quite the amount of vigor that he did. He liked observing my cheeks flushing as a result of exasperation. He loved seeing me passionately lost over anything it was hypnotizing.

"I resent that…and why a cold a shower you'll be chilled."

I shook my head good-humoredly. "That's the point…you were brilliant tonight."

"You watched, Nanami?"

I put a finger against my lips, sighing with content. "No, however, Light's reaction when he came to the dinner table was gold. It was instantaneous if I'd blinked I would have missed it…you rattled him for sure then his true colors showed…he started acting like an ass."

L, who had been half-feigning attention because of the various cakes in front of him, perked up as he noticed a shift in tone specifically on the word 'ass' before when I'd cussed Light out I was fuming this time I was hurt.

"Lena, dear, did he say something to you?"

I wanted to protest but didn't have the strength. I needed to disclose within L, my best friend. "I'll clue you in after my shower." I flung my notebook at the detective absentmindedly. "As per your request."

"Ow! You hit me in the eye."

"You were _supposed_ to catch it, L."

He smiled, retrieving from where it fell next to his chair.

* * *

The shower acted as the 'shock to my system' I desperately craved after the events of the evening. Remembering what Light said made me livid the fact was more or less true though but dwelling on it caused my pain to fortify my insomnia. My tears mingled with the flowing water as rinsed my hair as I pondered whether I was acting melodramatic.

I shrugged, turning off the shower and pulling the curtain back. I wrapped myself in a towel walking to my room. Dressing swiftly, I changed into another nightdress and my bathrobe. I went into the living room and desired nothing more than to throw my arms around L, letting my concerns of earlier slid off my tongue. Reaching him, I did the usual gesture, however, in addition to firmly anchoring myself within his embrace—I stealthily maneuvered past the arm that held me to swipe a bite of cupcake from the one he was eating.

My friend's eyes widened. "If I'm not mistaken _I_ was eating that, dear. You must be upset you're regressing into your coping techniques."

I brushed the crumbs from my face. "You _track_ my stress habits?! Don't know if that's creepy or helpful, L…"

"I'm observant. Now, Light got under your skin, what did he say, Lena?"

My voice choked, my gaze blurred, and a few tears streaked my cheeks. "You're alone in the world, aren't you and you're alone you have nothing to lose."

L cradled me closer, my head falling onto his chest, protectiveness flashing in his sharp eyes. "You are _not_ and don't you _dare_ let anyone convince you otherwise especially our suspects…"


	5. Little Talks

**Hey, here's chapter 5 sorry for the wait. This is probably not the best chapter but I hope you enjoy. It's one part fluffy and one part dramatic. I don't own anything but the plot and Lena. R and R and tell me what you think. ~Serria Spell23.**

* * *

 **Ch.5-** _Little Talks_

 _"She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye. She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise. She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright, for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight."_

 _~Rinse_ , Vanessa Carlton

Somehow I wasn't surprised to hear those words exiting L's lips but the tone in which he delivered them started me. The vehemence and urgency behind them seemed to be a break from his usual, deadpan style voice. I knew he could get overzealous at times. Why did he look as if he wanted to punch Light in the face?

"Thanks, L. I'm better now that I'm nowhere within his vicinity…there's something _off_ about him. Going on my intuition alone, I'd say Light is a highly probable candidate for Kira. Plus, he made me small and worthless with a _single_ sentence that's not normal. "Hey, can I…" I cut off, meeting my friend's eyes—that had now softened, hesitantly.

"Yes, dear?"

The remaining words came out in a rush. "Not that I'll be sleeping much, however, I don't want to be alone. "Can I stay out here?"

"You can forgo asking, Lena, you needn't fret. I do believe I am rubbing off you though and just to clarify you mean in our current position…wrapped in each other's arms? Your demeanor has calmed so if you wish I will not stop you," the detective said, a smirk playing on his lips.

I blushed, pinching him in the arm. "Don't talk that way to me I _almost_ buy it."

"Hm…"

I sighed. "You really don't understand social cues, do you?"

L rolled his eyes, hugging me to his chest. "I know enough, here…" He grabbed a colorful, circular macaroon from a separate tray to his left. It was my eyes' turn to light up. Smiling a radiant smile, I let the pastry land in my outstretched hand.

"You remembered?!"

"You devoured an entire box during an assignment and were sick for two days. No way in hell I'd forget that" he replied, stroking my cheek.

I covered L's hand with mine, daintily stuffing a piece of the macaroon in my mouth. He chuckled, a teasing grin touching his eyes. "You don't need to stand on ceremony, Lena, I see you drooling."

Popping the sweet the rest of the way into my mouth, I sighed in pleasure. "Mmm…Agent Kincaid wasn't thrilled if my memory serves correct, he forced you to pay for them out of your pocket."

L cocked an eyebrow. "I _would_ have done that regardless, they were a gift to you. Despite the assignment deviating from plan —the episode of you vomiting and me holding your hair—no hitches happened. I feel responsible for it I should have restrained you once your skin tinted green."

"My addictions aren't yours to cage, L. I am capable of protecting myself." Truthfully, amidst the normal side stepping, I wanted the intimacy we'd already established to count for something. However, life had a habit of messing things up, mangling the feelings we'd come to have. Talk was cheap I only desired L close, wavering the analysis the contextual patterns we had fallen into—victims within the folds of decency and throwing caution to the wind.

The detective nodded, clearing his throat to jar me from my trance. "What notes did you gather, dear…other than Light's an asshole…or is your whole list that phrase?"

Making an indignant noise, I gasped, my lips shaping into an 'o.' "Uh! I hate you! And no, it does not take up _all_ my list I'm not that incompetent."

L locked eyes with me fleetingly, non-verbally saying 'no, you don't' before his gaze resumed scanning the notebook.

 _You're right, I don't._ I conceded watching him intently studying my handiwork.

My eyelids drooped my head, sagging onto L's shoulder. He smiled, cradling my sleepy figure a thumb on his lips. "Before you doze, Lena, if I am correct in assuming that we're on the same wavelength about Light I want to run by you the undercover operation I'm considering."

"Count me in."

Impishly, L shook his head. "Once Light attends university, I'll integrate myself into the lifestyle, bond with him and interrogate from the inside."

" _Obviously_ ," I drawled, a yawn immersing my statement in the sounds of weariness as I nestled further into my friend's embrace. "Month from now, right?"

"Yes. Sleep, dear, you're dead on your feet."

"Har har," I muttered apathetically, "I'm sitting on you, idiot. Shut up!" I fell asleep, my breathing even, a relief to the detective as I was prone to letting my concerns get the best of me. Self-preservation fell by the sidelines my whole energy consumed with the needs of the person of my focus which at the moment was him. He couldn't fathom how a woman broken inside unconditionally cared about others.

* * *

L's expression held the tiniest hint of worry about the upcoming mission—not for him, of course, but his friend as he was aware she would not accept 'no' as an answer. His gaze lingered on Lena's tranquil face as she slept she _claimed_ she did not have a brash streak, however, she did. It appeared with a knack for nuance and precision contrary to him. Although, L did have his moments of 'flying off the rails' as Lena dubbed them his plans weren't _too_ out there. They were simply a side effect of his brilliance.

* * *

At the Yagami residence, Light sprawled across his bed, his face pinched in annoyance. The Death Note laid inches from him as he tapped a pen against the pages stacked meticulously with names. Hallow, cynical and mocking laughter emulated from the shadows, the young man turned his head in direction of the sound, his temper rising.

"You got one upped by a girl,"Ryuk sneered, "but she's good. She _floored_ you."

"She did no such thing, Ryuk. If anything I 'floored' her as you say I gaged her response when I said she was alone. Instant panic, isolation feeding that into her insecurity she could be an invaluable piece of my chess game…"

"Hate to burst your bubble, Light," the Shinigami said in a monotone, "without knowing the reason you're stuck."

"Fear can cause humans to do anything, see anything. It warps the mind, Ryuk and if I can prey on that fundamental truth she will do my bidding. I will be one step closer to finding L."


End file.
